Fertility

God is currently working on my life in many ways, one of them being the difference between freedom in Him and religion. I am the least religious person but I still find myself getting stuck in Christian rituals that feel comfortable. I want my life to be organic, to hear the Spirit leading me.

In Galations it talks about how Abraham and Sarah had fertility problems and they solved the problem themselves (in human terms) by impregnating Sarah's servant. Great they now had a baby! But that baby was conceived by their own strength and so it did not receive God's inheritance for it's life. After many years of prayer, Jesus of course answered and blessed them with their own child - conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and that child received God's inheritance.

This made me think alot about our fertility journey, about how we have taken much of our earthly and physical issues into our own hands. One feels that one should take a step back and let God be the master. But I feel that this becomes religious - instead of listening to the Holy Spirit and hearing what He has planned for us, we continue deciding whether fertility treatment is right or wrong in God's eyes. I prayed and meditated on this one morning while driving to work, my prayers consumed by something I truly believe (the Bible) and the Holy Spirit whom I truly love. I asked God to show me, or tell me in His own way whether fertility treatment was helping or hindering us in our journey to parenthood. I handed it over to God and forgot about it.

That evening I wanted to get some take-aways and promptly ran right into our Fertility Specialist. A wonderful man but SO far away from his home and work area - and there are a million Steers's in Johannesburg. I was kind of embarressed and didn't think of it again.

Later that evening my husband and I were joking at the coincidence and I just laughed out loud - there are no coincidences - God works in wonderful ways. We are still pursuing fertility treatment, albeit only in very shallow terms and I know that one day we will have a very beautiful testimony to share.