Well my eggie was not a leftie, it is a rightie - shame poor guy (or is an ovary a girl) - he keeps getting the brunt of my bad moods when he's just trying to make a baby. So I had a bit of a wobbly after the scan, first fertility related wobbly since December... I think good going. It was good that I had a busy day planned.
Anyway beforehand I prayed about it and I kind of felt at the time that I would be "angry" at God if everything was happening on the wrong side - afterwards I just couldn't be cross. The comfort I was getting from Him was just beyond any preconceived idea that I had. I believe God knows the hurt that we are going through - my husband doesn't talk much about it but I know his heart is sore. I just pray that he receives the comfort I do.
Thank you Jesus for your love and comfort.
"I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (Ps 18.1-2)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Many blessings!
Wow, have I been blessed the last two days!
1. Been following up on clients who owe me money – one client was disputing the amount and delaying the process of payment. I called this morning and he has paid the full amount, no questions asked!
2. Satan works in the same old ways – ever noticed how it is the same things that get you down over and over again? In January I had a car accident, R30 000 worth of damage on my car. This morning, 100m away from the same spot I almost had another car accident. It’s also probably due to my own lack of concentration but I believe it’s Jesus’s blood that kept me safe this time.
3. One particular client has not been in contact with me over the last 5 months or so – just preferring to ignore my calls and emails. Last evening this client contacted me, initiating business again. What a great Lord we serve.
4. God’s presense in my business is just so evident, He was with me in the start, He will be with me through to the end. I truly believe that.
I am learning so much more to just HAND IT OVER to Him. Worry and anxiety are nothing against God’s power and Satan loves to give negative thoughts – of which you will eventually believe because you hear these thoughts so often… and you let yourself think them! Put your stresses into His hands and by His power, the result will be even better than you imagined.
So here’s to a little leftie egg tomorrow morning – visit to the fertility specialist.
1. Been following up on clients who owe me money – one client was disputing the amount and delaying the process of payment. I called this morning and he has paid the full amount, no questions asked!
2. Satan works in the same old ways – ever noticed how it is the same things that get you down over and over again? In January I had a car accident, R30 000 worth of damage on my car. This morning, 100m away from the same spot I almost had another car accident. It’s also probably due to my own lack of concentration but I believe it’s Jesus’s blood that kept me safe this time.
3. One particular client has not been in contact with me over the last 5 months or so – just preferring to ignore my calls and emails. Last evening this client contacted me, initiating business again. What a great Lord we serve.
4. God’s presense in my business is just so evident, He was with me in the start, He will be with me through to the end. I truly believe that.
I am learning so much more to just HAND IT OVER to Him. Worry and anxiety are nothing against God’s power and Satan loves to give negative thoughts – of which you will eventually believe because you hear these thoughts so often… and you let yourself think them! Put your stresses into His hands and by His power, the result will be even better than you imagined.
So here’s to a little leftie egg tomorrow morning – visit to the fertility specialist.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Fertility
God is currently working on my life in many ways, one of them being the difference between freedom in Him and religion. I am the least religious person but I still find myself getting stuck in Christian rituals that feel comfortable. I want my life to be organic, to hear the Spirit leading me.
In Galations it talks about how Abraham and Sarah had fertility problems and they solved the problem themselves (in human terms) by impregnating Sarah's servant. Great they now had a baby! But that baby was conceived by their own strength and so it did not receive God's inheritance for it's life. After many years of prayer, Jesus of course answered and blessed them with their own child - conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and that child received God's inheritance.
This made me think alot about our fertility journey, about how we have taken much of our earthly and physical issues into our own hands. One feels that one should take a step back and let God be the master. But I feel that this becomes religious - instead of listening to the Holy Spirit and hearing what He has planned for us, we continue deciding whether fertility treatment is right or wrong in God's eyes. I prayed and meditated on this one morning while driving to work, my prayers consumed by something I truly believe (the Bible) and the Holy Spirit whom I truly love. I asked God to show me, or tell me in His own way whether fertility treatment was helping or hindering us in our journey to parenthood. I handed it over to God and forgot about it.
That evening I wanted to get some take-aways and promptly ran right into our Fertility Specialist. A wonderful man but SO far away from his home and work area - and there are a million Steers's in Johannesburg. I was kind of embarressed and didn't think of it again.
Later that evening my husband and I were joking at the coincidence and I just laughed out loud - there are no coincidences - God works in wonderful ways. We are still pursuing fertility treatment, albeit only in very shallow terms and I know that one day we will have a very beautiful testimony to share.
In Galations it talks about how Abraham and Sarah had fertility problems and they solved the problem themselves (in human terms) by impregnating Sarah's servant. Great they now had a baby! But that baby was conceived by their own strength and so it did not receive God's inheritance for it's life. After many years of prayer, Jesus of course answered and blessed them with their own child - conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and that child received God's inheritance.
This made me think alot about our fertility journey, about how we have taken much of our earthly and physical issues into our own hands. One feels that one should take a step back and let God be the master. But I feel that this becomes religious - instead of listening to the Holy Spirit and hearing what He has planned for us, we continue deciding whether fertility treatment is right or wrong in God's eyes. I prayed and meditated on this one morning while driving to work, my prayers consumed by something I truly believe (the Bible) and the Holy Spirit whom I truly love. I asked God to show me, or tell me in His own way whether fertility treatment was helping or hindering us in our journey to parenthood. I handed it over to God and forgot about it.
That evening I wanted to get some take-aways and promptly ran right into our Fertility Specialist. A wonderful man but SO far away from his home and work area - and there are a million Steers's in Johannesburg. I was kind of embarressed and didn't think of it again.
Later that evening my husband and I were joking at the coincidence and I just laughed out loud - there are no coincidences - God works in wonderful ways. We are still pursuing fertility treatment, albeit only in very shallow terms and I know that one day we will have a very beautiful testimony to share.
My decision to blog
Over the last few weeks God has been encouraging me to share my testimonies. Sharing a testimony frees the blessing so that someone else can receive the blessing. There are many small, but truly miraculous things that happen in my life that can only be attributed to His love and the presence of the Holy Spirit. This journal is for His Glory and Jesus is the only one who does these things in my life. All Glory and Honour to the King of Kings. Amen!
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